The Trap Of Manipulative Adulation
Manipulative flattery is not flattery without harmful intentions. On the contrary, there is an interest camouflaged under a positive praise or comment. We all love to hear that we are good and that we do things well.
However, there are times when we let ourselves be carried away by these compliments without knowing that we must open our eyes to see their true intentions.
Sometimes the people with low self-esteem need that kind of adulation. They perceive it as an acknowledgment of their merits because they live on the approval of others. However, this is dangerous as they can fall into a terrible trap.
Be aware of manipulative adulation
Below, we’ll give some examples of real-world situations where manipulative adulation is present. You will find that, on more than one occasion, we have been carried away by these beautiful words. However, in reality, they are pointing us where to go based on what the other person wants.
What a good person you are! Actually, I wanted to ask you…
This is very common. Followed by a compliment, there is a request that you can hardly refuse. When they say a positive word about you, if you refuse what they ask for, you can feel bad.
If they say “how good you are” and you refuse to do what they ask, you won’t be so good anymore and the other person will be disappointed.
That is what this type of statement is intended for. Without being aware of it, a feeling of guilt will settle in you and urge you to do what the other person wants.
You who are so understanding, am I right in…?
On some occasions, the trap of manipulative adulation is characterized by the fact that a person wants to feel supported by a particular opinion they have about a situation. For example, if she’s criticizing a friend that her actions don’t look good for this and that, she’ll give you a compliment before asking what you think.
After the adulation, it will be very difficult for you to refuse to side with her, even though you know she is wrong. After all, you don’t want to disappoint her. Then again, manipulation will be present.
sorry you are so kind
People who use manipulative adulation sometimes do so in order to be forgiven by someone they’ve hurt.
For this, they use beautiful words so that the other person feels superior and considers that the error can be forgiven. After all, we are all human!
However, it is necessary to keep your eyes wide open, as most of the time this type of person does not seek to rescue the relationship, but rather the benefits they obtained from it.
I love being able to trust you
In this case, it doesn’t mean that no one is trustworthy, but you should be careful because many people try to earn your trust through praise and flattery and then stick a knife in your back.
This is often done by those who use it to achieve a specific purpose that concerns them alone. They need you to get where they want to go, but once at the finish line, they’ll step on you and turn their backs on you. Be very careful with this kind of manipulative adulation. In fact, it can tear you apart, break you, and leave wounds to your heart that are difficult to heal.
It’s hard to notice the manipulative adulation. In some cases, experience alone will provide us with the tools we need to open our eyes and not be fooled by a word that exalts our ego.
When you feel overly flattered, when you find it uncomfortable to hear words that describe everything positive you do or have, stay alert! Don’t get carried away by the positive feeling that they are recognizing your merits.
The manipulative adulation is much more present than we think. The thing is, we all like to get compliments from others. However, that gratifying moment is not worth it if later on we will be harmed by covert manipulation.
