Characteristics Of Toxic Love

Toxic love is present in many more relationships than we realize. Something that takes relationships down a path of bitterness and a future of imminent end.

However, maybe it’s the kind of love we were taught. The one that we learn is the result of fears, our illusions and our beliefs a little bit wrong.

Today we will cover some of the characteristics of toxic love that are keeping us from experiencing happiness and fulfillment in our relationships.

try to change the other

In toxic love, a constant is the intention to change the other person. We want you to become the picture of the perfect partner we have in our minds.

In this way,  we avoid accepting the other person and loving them as they are. What we really love is the idea that one day the next becomes the perfect partner we’ve been dreaming up in our heads.

This only brings frustration, since changing someone is an arduous task, it wastes a lot of energy and probably will not bring the desired results.

Emotional Dependence

It is possible to say that this is one of the great evils of our time. The fear of being alone, that no one wants us, makes us emotionally dependent.

Sometimes, behind this attitude hides a childhood full of emotional needs and traumas  that caused all this in future established relationships.

However, emotional dependence absorbs, consumes and confuses love with a strong addiction.

owning is not love

This is another of the big misconceptions that lead many couples down the path of bitterness.

• Possessing, not allowing to breathe, oppressing, controlling, is not love, it is insecurity.
• Nobody owns us, nor do we belong to anyone.
• We are free and we never have to find ourselves in this situation.

However, behind all this possession there is a distrust of the partner. A fear that he will be unfaithful, that he will get involved with other people, that he will abandon him.

Sometimes this arises because the person himself has thoughts of this type. At other times, it is the result of a negative experience from which the person was hurt for some of these reasons.

In the face of frustration, raise your hand

Hitting someone you claim to love, mistreating them, is not something that should be allowed. No matter how bad things have been done,  no one should ever raise a hand to you (and vice versa).

When your partner mistreats you, sometimes not just physically but also verbally, it’s evidence that love is being toxic.

The differences must be talked about,  no one has to be subjected to the force of the other’s will. Respect has to be always present.

goodbye to friendships

It’s understandable that in the first few months of a relationship you break up and think little of your friendships. The novelty calls and you want to know many things about that person who captivated you in such a short time.

However, when this extends after a year, two or three, the situation can be more delicate.

• You don’t go anywhere if you don’t take your partner with you, you don’t stay with your friends if your other half can’t, and your encounters with them decrease dramatically.
• There’s something you might not consider, is that  friendships, if taken care of, last a lifetime. However, a relationship sometimes has its days numbered.

Be careful, because when the other is missing you will want to take refuge with your friends. However, perhaps they are no longer there for you.

Toxic love is based on illusions

This is the toxic love that we are hard pressed to let go of, as it has a lot to do with the first phase of involvement.

Expectations and illusions make us idealize our partner. But what happens after time passes? That all this ends and we start to worry about things that were overlooked before?

Many couples don’t know why their relationship has changed over time. But mature love opens its eyes from the beginning and doesn’t get carried away by expectations that are only real in our minds.

Have you identified with any of these types of toxic love? Now that you know them,  it’s time to avoid falling into them,  even if it’s difficult and takes a lot of effort.