Change Promises To Restore Relationship

Have you ever made promises to change to regain the relationship? Have they done it to you too?

This situation happens when the fear of a separation becomes reality and we refuse to accept it.

The most curious thing is that, in this specific case in which the promises of change are present, the best thing is not to continue with the partner we were with.

Why? Because this request is sometimes an attempt at manipulation.

Promises of change to try to recover the relationship

Let’s imagine that the person we were with was unfaithful and we, upon discovering this reality, ended the relationship.

• Our partner, desperate, tries in every way to make us understand that it was a mistake, that it will never happen again and that it will change. Promises of change that come out of your mouth seeking approval.

• The person will get down on his knees, if necessary, he will crawl, and all of this will activate our emotions of pity and compassion. Sometimes this will take effect and we will give it a second chance.

However, it is not about changing, but about being aware that, even if many promises of change are made to us, this is said in the heat of the moment, that is, an attempt not to lose what you have.

What does that mean? That this promise won’t last long. Besides, the moment we give it a second chance, maybe everything will go back to the way it was before.

There are several situations in which promises of change can arise: differences, lies, compatibility issues, when love has ended…

Given all this, the person afraid of losing or not assuming what is going wrong in the relationship tries to get a second chance, whatever the cost, with promises full of great manipulative power.

Selfishness in relationships

We often don’t want to realize how bad things are. We only focus on what we want, so we don’t mind sacrificing our own well-being and that of the other person.

This happens a lot in cases of emotional dependence. The promises of change, then, become too present not to lose that person who is the object of our addiction.

We are selfish. We attach ourselves to someone while we feed our poisons and while the other is a part of it all.

You can’t promise something if you’re not sure we can keep it. How can we guarantee that this will be true? Acting, doing and failing to promise in vain.

Because promises deceive the other and sometimes even ourselves.

Our intentions may be good, but are we sure they will come true? We don’t deserve this. We don’t deserve to hear lies and we don’t deserve to lie to each other either.

the prolongation of pain

Promises of change can prolong a situation that will do nothing but cause more and more pain.

That’s why it ‘s important that we don’t get carried away by them, that we are objective and realistic. It’s hard, but why not listen to people who advise us against what we want and who we deem wrong?

On more than one occasion, we’ve heard that “ they shouldn’t go on like this ”, “ why don’t you leave? ”, “ what do you get by continuing with this relationship? ”

We don’t want to hear everything we’re told, because we’re confused and we’re doing it backwards. However, over time, with perspective, we realized why all these people were right.

Family, friends, brothers and sisters show us the path we must follow, without insisting too much, without forcing us to do anything.

But, in our inertia, we surrender to these promises of change that will never come true.

Let’s open our eyes to pitfalls, don’t let ourselves be carried away by compassion and pity. If necessary, let’s ask for time.

Nobody said we have to make a decision now. Let’s take the time to see the situation from another angle, much clearer and more precise.